Ramblings by Hal

Ramblings: The $50.00 Tomato

Thonie, I started out writing family stories and then progressed to Ramblings.  I still write a family story once in a while.  I wrote this in July.   Hal

By Hal Collier


Hal's $50.00 tomato
Hal’s $50.00 tomato

Did you ever see a $50.00 tomato?


I’m a humble man, I drive a 10 year old car and a 13 year old truck. I live on a fixed income and my Social Security check which will disappear when I have to sign up for Medicare. I’m not poor, but I’ll admit I have underwear that I bought during the Clinton administration. Hey, they still fit.

So people ask why would anyone be a cop?  Well, I’ll tell you in the next few paragraphs. My dad was great with his hands and could make or fix anything. I took shop classes in school and everything I made was an ash tray. Don’t laugh. I have an ash tray with an electrical cord I made in electric shop. Photos available for a nominal fee.


So I made a nice living being a cop. Since retirement I have spread out my interests. I did some wood working in the garage. Want a wood ash tray?


I next tried gardening. How hard could that be? Go to the local hardware store and buy an already grown plant. Take it home and replant it in your back yard. Easy—right? Wrong, if you have an orange thumb as my wife describes my gardening talents. I’ve planted flowers, roses, vegetables, fruit and cactus. I have eventually killed them all—even the cactus.


Every spring, I think this will be different. I’ll get mature tomato plants, buy new soil, free from contaminates of previous failures. I’ll tend to them and make sure that this year will be different.


With new enthusiasm I drive to OSH.  My wife’s proud of me when I walk right by the tool sale and BBQ supply section. We head directly into the garden. We pick out three nice tomato plants. We’re not going to put all our eggs in one basket so to speak. We buy three different kinds of tomato plants. One cherry, one beef steak and some exotic tomato that has different colors inside when you cut it open.


We next pick up two bags of dirt and a jug of vegetable plant food and three large planting pots. We head home. I plant the tomatoes and I even read the instructions, full sun, and water every few days until plant is established.


Flash forward one month. The tomato plants are growing and flower buds are sprouting out.  I’m going to beat the orange thumb curse. Another two weeks later I have six small tomatoes, three each on only two plants. The third plant seems to be dying from the inside out. The curse returns.


I’m going to spare you the slow death of my tomato plants and the few that survived my orange thumb. The bottom line is I spent about $50.00 on plants and supplies and got the tomato pictured. Don’t even ask me how it tasted, I put it up for sale on E-Bay to try and recoup my expenses. Hurry you only have one week to bid on my tomato.


Now you see why I was a cop.




By Thonie Hevron

Mysteries to keep you reading through the night.

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