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Roll Call

Roll Call: Rampart and the Baby Powder Caper

68 Plymouth Belvedere labeledBy Mikey, Retired LAPD

March 25, 2018

 

 

In the summer of 1973, as a rookie copper in Rampart Division, I was learning the ways of the LAPD. Every day was exciting for me. I was assigned morning watch, so I got to work at 2230 for a 2400 roll call.

 

One night, I was in the locker room talking with another copper when four sergeants swarmed into the room and began taking names and serial numbers. One of the senior officers asked what the deal was, and he was told that he would find out later.  At the conclusion of roll call our lieutenant told those of us who had had their names and serial numbers documented to report to the Area Commanding Officer’s (CO) office. 

 

In the hallway were five officers standing outside of the CO’s office. Just as I got in line, an officer exited the office, looked at us and said, “that was B**l S**t!” and stomped off. All the guys before me said pretty much the same as they exited.

 

Then it was my turn. A sergeant and lieutenant (LT) were in the room. The sergeant stood by the light switch and the LT was behind a desk. On the desk was a lunch box, the kind that is rectangle at the bottom and half oval on the top.  

The LT instructed me to approach the desk and put my hands out in front of me. He then told the sergeant to turn out the room lights. I heard the lunch box lid open and suddenly an ultraviolet light came up, illuminating my hands. Barely visible were some very little shiny “flakes.”  The LT called the sergeant over to the desk and told him to look at my hands.

 

 “What is that?” the L.T. asked.

 

 My response, “I don’t know, sir.” 

 

 “Well, it’s on your hands!”  

 

The sergeant turned the lights back on and I found them both eyeing me suspiciously. 

 

“What’s up” I asked.

 

Silence. Then, “you can go. What car are you working?” 

 

I replied, “2 Adam 3.”

 

Something told me I’d be talking to the LT again, very soon. My training officer asked me why I had been in the CO’s office, but I did not have an answer for him. 

 

Sure enough, 15 minutes later, “2 Adam 3, see the watch commander.” 

 

Back at the station, I reported to the watch commander and he told me to go back to the CO’s office and report to the LT. In the LT’s office, I was again asked me again what the flakes on my hands were. This time I had an answer for him.

 

In a somewhat weak voice I said. “Baby powder, sir.” 

 

“Baby powder?” 

 

 Johnsons_Baby_Powder_1,5_OZS_talc,_pic1I told him that in the summer I used it because I sweat quite a bit. 

 

The LT looked at the sergeant with that “ah, ha” look and said to me, “well then, it should be all over your person.” With that he told me to take off my uniform shirt. So, I removed my Sam Brown put it on the desk, pulled my shirt out and unbuttoned it. The LT told me to pull my T-shirt up and he instructed the sergeant to kill the lights. The UV light came back on and wouldn’t you know it, there were flakes all over the place.

 

Not satisfied with that, the LT had me take my belt off, and pull my pants down. Oh yeah; this is 1973 LAPD, no union rep, nothing. Just as he is working his way down to my knees, the door came open, I heard a hand being slapped and the light came on. From where my watch commander was standing behind me, how do you think it looked? The LT was practically kneeling down in front of me and my pants down to my knees? 

 

 “Young lieutenant, that’s disgusting!” My watch commander shouted. Then to me, “Diaz, get yourself put back together and get out on patrol!”  God, I felt so, I don’t know, used?

 

So, here is why this happened. There had been locker break-ins, so the CO’s adjutant had powdered several lockers with the secret stuff and had a couple of the lockers bugged to set off an alarm if they were disturbed.  The night I was there, the alarm tripped, the sergeants arrived, and the baby powder made the LT “hot” and all for nothing. 

 

The next night, my training officer brought in a super sized container of baby powder. All the guys powdered up their hands, banged on every locker, went to roll call to await the dreaded “swarm” of sergeants, but nothing happened.

 

I stopped using baby powder. Just saying.

 

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Roll Call

Roll Call: You Know it in Your Soul

A year or so ago, I was exchanging emails with Mikey. He was interested in sending me his stories for Just the Facts, Ma’am but was understandably cautious. This is an email I’ve been saving for the right moment to share with our readers. Our topic was what kept us in demanding, suck-the-life-outta-you careers. This particular email was significant to me and I thought you might like it, too.
—Thonie

You Know it in Your Soul

By Mikey, Retired LAPD

In the exchange of emails, you said it is “in your blood.” Nope, it’s in your soul. I’ve spoken to dedicated professionals in other fields and I have the same “feel for the talk,” and it is in your soul. I see it in your words, everyone. You don’t know why or really can’t explain it. Screw the folks who try and explain it to us. Take the third-grade teacher in the Bronx who gets crap for a salary buts does it anyway. The social worker who sees the worst but does it anyway. The copper who has a BA and can pretty much go state or federal but chooses to work the street. Or the writer who really needs to focus on something better, higher, more meaning, but does not.

No, it’s not in your blood, it’s in your soul. I know, and so do you. The key to knowing. You really never wanted to turn your back to it.

LAPD Crown VicI truly, truly miss it, but I’ll share this with you and it is gospel. I intended to work until May 15th, 2008. On May 2nd I turned 60 and my wife and the station threw me a surprise party—kinda cool. On May 3rd, I was on patrol with my best bud, John Schick, yup, that guy. At 2100 hours, on the dot, I am stopped at a red light on Hollywood and Vine. I hear this (I did, ‘cause I was there) “You’re done.”

Brings tears to my eyes this evening cause in my soul, 41 years of being a copper was over. I told John 0400 was a long way off and I was feeling tired. I shut the ignition down for the last time, John took a pic, unloaded the cruiser—shop 88420 and walked into the Watch Commander’s office. The young lieutenant looked up at me and I said, “LT, I’m through.”

His response, “What took you so long?”

Witnesses and all, hugs all around. I got released, not by the LT, but by the hand that held my soul.

This is a message, me to you. You giving us the opportunity to tell our stories, priceless. Thank you, I like sharing with my new and old family.