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Writer's Notes

Mentors and Mentees: I’ve Been Both

Shlian Silent SurvivorBy Deborah Shlian

I am a physician (now retired) and a published author of medical mystery/thrillers since the 1980’s. I would never have had the successes I’ve enjoyed had I not found mentors along the way – as I moved along in my medical career and now as I continue to write my novels while the publishing world changes around me.

As a young doctor, fresh out of residency, I joined a large integrated healthcare system (Kaiser Permanente) in Los Angeles. There I found an amazing clinician, outstanding teacher and natural leader who became my first real mentor. Growing up in the early 1960’s, at a time when family and career roles were still fairly differentiated by gender, this view required adjustments from parents, friends and particularly school counselors who regarded nursing or teaching as much more acceptable careers for women than medicine. Indeed, the idea of career itself was “something to fall back on”, to be dusted off should a husband die, or family economics really get tight. Full time wife and mother was the generally accepted proper role for a woman of that era. Dr. Rasgon thought that kind of thinking was baloney and encouraged me to become the best clinician first and then to consider a leadership role within healthcare. Because of his mentoring, when an opportunity to become Medical Director of UCLA’s Student Health Service opened up, I decided to take the risk and put my hat in the ring. I got the job.

At UCLA, I took on the responsibility of oversight for 33,000 students and a large staff of physicians, nurses and non-clinical staff. As my administrative duties expanded, my boss, who became my next mentor, encouraged me to consider getting a Masters in Business. He convinced me that acquiring a working knowledge of the language and concepts of business would allow me to straddle the role of clinician and non-clinician administrator. I enrolled in UCLA’s Anderson School of Management and graduated with an MBA.

While in business school, I decided to write a nonfiction book about the rise of managed care (I had practiced in one of the oldest HMOs in the US and had a unique perspective on what I saw as a revolutionary change in medicine). Unfortunately, publishers in New York in the 1980’s had barely heard the word HMO and told me that the concept would never fly east of the Rockies! A friend who wrote screenplays (Leigh Chapman) and who became my first writing mentor suggested writing a novel and weaving my concerns within a story. Unfortunately, my first attempt was too didactic; I didn’t even try to have it published. However, with my mentor’s encouragement I began to study the craft of novel writing. Robin Cook, a physician and best-selling author, was just getting popular at the time and it was clear that in the context of fiction, he could tell a story that also dealt with some difficult life issue.

The choice to write mysteries versus any other genre seemed natural. To me, a good doctor is really a detective. He or she must take various clues (patients’ symptoms, their physical signs and their story or history) and figure out what’s really going on – that is, make a diagnosis. Since the 1980’s I have co-written three medical mystery/thrillers with my husband (Double Illusion, Wednesday’s Child and Rabbit in the Moon), co-written two in an ongoing series with a physician colleague from California (Dead Air and Devil Wind which feature radio talk show host Sammy Greene).

All of these novels so far have been published by major publishers and all have won several literary awards including four Royal Palm Literary awards from the Florida Writers Association. Rabbit in the Moon won the Florida Book Award’s Gold Medal. Two of my novels have been optioned for screenplays.

Between my last novel published in 2011 and a new mystery/thriller I completed this year, the changes in the publishing world had accelerated. My agent had passed away, I wasn’t happy with my experience with my most recent publisher, and I was suddenly a stranger in a whole new world.

Here’s an irony. A young writer (John Ling) who I have been mentoring for several years has now become my mentor! When I read John’s first self-published short stories, I recognized his talent and encouraged him to write a larger work. His first and subsequent thrillers are as good as any of the top thriller writers around the world (I was one of this year’s Edgar Awards judges, so I think I have a good sense of talent). Despite my advice, John, who is extremely savvy about social marketing, chose to self-publish his novels. Happily, he has become a bestselling author and is one of the few writers these days who is actually making a living as a novelist.

So, with John’s encouragement, I have decided to take the leap and self-publish my newest thriller Silent Survivor. Given that most major publishers are outsourcing the marketing to authors, it makes sense to go down the learning curve and maintain control of your project. I understand that for many authors, this is still a difficult mindset. It has been for me. But I am now relying on the encouragement of my mentor and hoping for the best.

According to Steven Spielberg, “the delicate balance of mentoring someone is not creating them in your own image but giving them the opportunity to create themselves.”

Bottom line- my career path in both medicine and writing has not been a straightforward path. With each opportunity came a choice and a certain risk. Luckily, I found mentors along the way who helped me consider these forks which have made all the difference.

~~~

Shlian head shot

Deborah Shlian is a physician, healthcare consultant and author of numerous nonfiction articles and books as well as six award-winning medical mystery/thrillers, three co-authored with her husband, Joel. Rabbit in the Moon won the Florida Book Award’s Gold Medal. Her newest medical mystery/thriller, Silent Survivor, won First Place, Royal Palm Literary Award from the Florida Writers Association.

 

NOTE: Every dollar from sales of this book is going to veterans’ charities that deal with PTSD as well as charities that help women who have experienced sexual assault 

 

Here’s the link to Amazon (the book won’t be available until July 31st): https://www.amazon.com/dp/B07D7JD1QF?ref_=pe_2427780_160035660

 

Here’s the link to the trailer: https://youtu.be/QsmiKrIzgpU

 

Categories
The Call Box

The Call Box: Take Care of Your People

By Ed Meckle, Retired LAPD

The noted poet and playwright, Oscar Wilde, is credited with the phrase, “No good deed goes unpunished.” Nonsensical when first heard, it makes sense when you think about it. Described as a “sardonic commentary on the frequency with which acts of kindness backfire.” 

As a 19-year-old corporal, then 20-year-old sergeant in the Marines I learned many things. Number one was, “Take care of your people.” Now, a 34-year-old lieutenant with the LAPD, it is ingrained, something I did not think about; something I just did.

detectiveI had worked “upstairs” for some years as a robbery detective and really liked the division.  As day watch commander at Wilshire Division I considered myself lucky to have such a good job. It was a good place to work, an old station house but comfortable with a great boss, Captain Pierce Brooks, solid sergeants (over half on probation), tolerable crime stats, and a good group of mostly young officers. 

We were 25 years post-WWII and the veterans were starting to retire. My only concern was trying to put together my daily deployment (car plan) when over half the watch is composed of young officers on probation.

They were a good bunch and I remember losing only one who after the lengthy vetting, and unforgiving academy should suddenly discover he was not suited for and did not like the work. 

Suggested reading: some of Hal’s older blogs, “Recruits from Hell.”

As part of this mix I was blessed with *James Ballinger. He looked as though he stepped from a recruiting poster. Former Marine NCO (non-commissioned officer), former fire-fighter (smoke jumper with the Forest Service), sharp as a tack, mature beyond his years and was developing into a really good street copper. The kind of officer you wish you had a dozen of.

Then, as though done specifically to screw up my life, I got “the letter” from personnel division.

Ballinger had some sort of “heart condition” that had evaded the examining physicians when he took his entrance physical. Now discovered in hindsight, his probation was terminated, and he was fired.

I was to collect his badge and gun and have him report to personnel division to complete the paper work. 

Without a second thought, this was now “my problem.” Ballinger explained that it was an error on personnel division’s part. He had supplied paper work to the city to explain the situation. If the city cardiologist had even read the report this would not be a problem. 

cardiologistOne of the young women that worked the records section was the daughter of a cardiac surgical nurse. I told her, “Call mom ASAP and get me the names and numbers of the three best cardiologists in LA.”

Ten minutes later, number one’s receptionist is explaining that he is booked for 6 months. I heard myself saying things like, “exceptional young man, veteran, career-ending, injustice, terrible error, life and death,” and so on.

She replied, “Tell him to be here at 5 with his paper work. I can get him 10 minutes with the doctor.”

I tell Ballinger to buy a potted plant for the receptionist and ”go get it done.” He got an hour. The city doctor had been a student of “our consulting physician.” The cardiologist authored a report which the city accepted and reversed the termination. 

When I got the good news some time later I felt smug for having beaten city hall and saving one of “my people.”

To put me in my place and show me who was boss, they transferred Ballinger for no apparent reason.

Twelve years passed. I am retired, when in December 1981 a major scandal rocks Hollywood division. A dozen officers and one sergeant are arrested for being part of a burglary ring. All are fired or resign in disgrace. The sergeant is *James Ballinger.

I felt as though I had been punched in the stomach. 

In June of 2014 Hal wrote a four-part series detailing the activities of all the parties. A must read.

Lt. Dan Cooke the press relations officer was quoted “We will get over it, but we will never forget it.” 

* James Ballinger is not his true name, he went on to have a successful career in another field  so I will let it rest there.

As to heart trouble, he wasn’t the only one affected. He broke mine.

 

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Writer's Notes

August Writer’s Notes: Mentors

WMA plus award
My certificate for With Malice Aforethought as the winner of the Public Safety Writers Association Writing Competition July 15, 2018 in Las Vegas.

By Thonie Hevron

I wonder how I would’ve ever gotten where I am today without mentors. This includes the mom down the street who took me under her wing when my mother struggled with her own demons. Early in my career, there was a motor officer who introduced me to the concept, “badge-heavy” and changed my adversarial attitude with the public while I issued tickets–I didn’t have to be a jerk. Later, Fred, a patrolman, was another crucial association. He invited me to testify to the county grand jury as part of an investigation of our police administration. Standing up for the integrity of the job was a beautiful burden. These people were life-mentors who taught me valuable lessons that extend through my life today.

But let’s talk about mentors for writers.

Pat Tyler
Pat Tyler

In most other industries, colleagues could look upon newbies as competition. While I’ve found that writing teachers aren’t necessarily mentors, I can say I have never seen professional acrimony toward another. My first true writing mentor, Pat Tyler, during her Jumpstart Writing class, encouraged me with provocative prompts. She provided a safe, non-judgmental place to read and hone my stories. Then, she pointed me toward Redwood Writers (a branch of California Writers Club), where I found much more to learn. The motto of the club is “writers helping writers.” It did!

Marilyn1
Marilyn Meredith

My second mentor is Marilyn Meredith. She’s a board member of the Public Safety Writers Association who I met in 2014 at the club’s annual conference. Marilyn is an experienced author who helped me navigate small press publishing and writing ethics. She’s a prolific author of over 40 books who gets up in the middle of the night (4 AM) to accomplish her myriad goals. Even with huge family demands, she writes and promotes almost every day. A lady in the most refined sense, she’s also a model of Christianity—not the clichéd version—the true-blue follower of Christ. She’s unpretentious, accepts people the way they are and believes in sharing her gifts—as she has with me. I’ll bet she never even considered herself a mentor. But she is. She continually inspires me to be better.

Speaking of not considering yourself a mentor, I want to talk about being a mentor. Why?

  • It could change someone’s life—really. Think about words of encouragement you heard that motivated you. Be that person.
  • It will take you out of your own world—we create them in our heads, don’t we? Telling another person about your process attaches words to abstract thoughts. Sharing can enlarge thoughts, if you listen. For both of you.
  • You’ll be building a writers’ community based on the positive aspects we’re talking about here.
  • The life you change may be your own. Sometimes, verbalizing the process gives us a clearer picture. Sharing and giving aren’t unique to humans but we’ve refined it through evolution. Let’s keep working on it.

On August 10th, Deborah Shlian shares her thought on being both a mentor and mentee. Cathy Perkins appears on August 17th, Barbara Bent on the 24th and Edith Maxwell winds up the month with “Paying it Forward” on August 31st.

Be sure to join us on Writer’s Notes, Just the Facts, Ma’am every Friday. Sundays, read the exploits of the men and women behind the badge on the main blog.

Categories
The Call Box

The Call Box: Partners

polic-call-box-pedestal-lapd-gamewell-DCAL2786_dt1By Ed Meckle, Retired LAPD

Ask most street cops what they consider truly valuable: what is the most important part of their professional life, if forced to, the last he/she would consider giving up.

I feel the answer would be their partner.

Partner defined: “One associated with another, especially in business or action.”

“Associate or colleague.” OK so far.

“Either of two persons who dance together.” (define dance)

“One of two or more persons who play together in a game against an opposing side.” and “sharing risks and profits.” Yes and yes.

You should pick your partner with the same care as you pick your mate because you are going to be as close to and spend as much time with them as you do with the person you married. Choose wisely.

Start with the obvious—you need someone who you can get along with; who will be there when your life depends on it. Someone dependable, someone who will not lose it when the “fit hits the shan.” Trust me it will, and that’s a hell of a time to discover you picked wrong.

Choose someone with a mindset such as yours yet different enough so you complement each other. He/she sees what you might miss and vice-versa. Someone in whom you can see and appreciate the good qualities and ignore the unimportant bad ones; someone you feel comfortable and communicate easily with.

 

“On the right, by the alley.”

“Got it.”

 

Police partners
Sgt. Michael Biddy, front, and Corporal Aaron Whitehead use a radar gun to detect the speed limit of drivers on Tinker Air Force Base, Okla. The two DAF civilian police officers were both prior military before joining the civilian security forces here on base. Civilian officers are federally certified law enforcement officers and perform the same duties as the military security forces. (Air Force photo by Kelly White)

Someone who knows what you are likely to do in a particular situation; who can understand and also convey a message with a shrug, nod, grimace or some other gesture you hadn’t even thought of.

Your Huntley to, his/her Brinkley (dating myself here); during a stop and on your feet taking and maintaining a good position. Moving sometimes as though choreographed. His/her Rogers to your Astaire (yet again).

And when it’s “come and get it time,” and the world is spinning out of control, his Butch to your Sundance.

As the saying goes, “someone who runs TOWARD the sound of gunfire.”

Consider the following:

You begin your tour by seating yourself side by side with your partner in a visibly marked vehicle. You are going to spend the next eight plus hours together directed by the radio to solve various problems.

When free from the radio you are on the “prowl” and “looking for trouble.” Let me repeat that: looking for trouble.

Does this sound like the sort of job description where you drive to the labor pool and pick someone from the crowd? I think not.

You hope to find out before it becomes critical that you have chosen to right person, since by then it will be too late.

They say you are lucky or rich if you have one truly good friend in your lifetime. I would think then that if the same could be said of partners. I am truly blessed.

Ward Fitzgerald and Hal Brasher, both WWII vets, taught me “the game.” Both were my kindly old “uncles.”

Frank Isbell and I were the “proverbial identical twins separated at birth” who found each other, while Richard L. Sullivan “Sully” and I were truly soul mates.

I will lie for you, I will bleed for you, I will take a bullet for you and I will, die for you.

Dedicated to PARTNERS everywhere.

Thanks, Ed. Any readers recall great partners? Leave a comment, let us know who and why.

Categories
Writer's Notes

Critique Groups: 3 Keys for a Productive Writers’ Critique Group

DTF Red Sky

By Deborah Taylor-French

Critique groups for writers serve many purposes. Writers’ groups can keep us on track with our goals like families help members grow and celebrate milestones. Functional or dysfunctional, writers’ groups can help us or hold us back. We can learn from reading with an eye to what works and how others convey stories. We can embrace and acknowledge the thousands of ways to express feelings, thoughts, and actions, which pump life into written ideas and stories. A well-functioning writers’ critique group can advance our abilities and productivity. More importantly, a group can act in several ways to improve our skills, style, clarity, and marketability of our work.

Before You take the Plunge to a Critique Group

  1. Are you interested in learning and changing your writing? If your answer is no, please don’t join a writers’ critique group. There are other types of writers’ groups for you.

 

  1. Do you like helping others? If the answer is no, you should seek help from an editor and beta readers. Critiques are best as two-way streets.

 

  1. Do comments help you revise? Not all writers feel receptive to readers’ impressions and questions. If comments confuse or upset you, work with only one reader or professional editor at a time.

Do you feel confused or angry at other’s comments on your writing? Then proceed with caution. Know you have other options. A well-chosen first reader or editor can help.

On the other hand, if you’re curious what your writing means to other people, do join a writer’s critique group. An attitude of mutual helpfulness must be part of why writers join groups. Not only should you be able to answer, yes to all three questions but also the other members of your potential group should too.

Caution: Not All Writers’ Critique Groups Produce Positive Results

  • Be picky.
  • Visit different groups.
  • Ask do I need a face to face group?
  • Know that online groups are not for every writer.

Insightful Critiques Moved My Story onto the Page.

Two critique groups assisted the development in early drafts of my first novel. I learned TONS from my writing group. I consider myself fortunate to have found a positive minded and a mature set of writers. Those four writers read and made detailed comments or questions on my drafts. In our meetings, each writer read aloud his or her work. The group discussed that piece of writing then the author had a few minutes to ask questions of their readers.

Due to readers expressed confusion on my references of fictional time and character motive, I realized the essential parts of my story still resided in my mind. These repetitions of discovering I had failed to write down specifics known only to me, pointed me to what I needed to do to make my story more readable and engaging. Due to a vivid imagination, I had those story facts but had never placed them in my draft. Soon, I learned to choose from the most potent essential objects, feelings, and metaphors. These details expressed and defined my characters, setting, and action more clearly. I learned from writers/readers to include a fleshed-out range of visual, auditory, and kinesthetic descriptions. I overcame a habit of leaving 30% of scene details in my imagination.

Gradually, I learned to go deeper onto each page of fiction. Soon, my fiction writing gasped a subtle use of subtext and humor from reading my writers drafts. Essential details. In each critique, we pointed out what worked in each other’s drafts. Insightful readers pointed to specific word choices, character action, dialogue, and thoughts, which helped to steer the story. Of course, some of our comments were more effective than others.

As I continued to participate in critiques, my written languages skills grew more vivid and effective at communicating my stories into final drafts. Through weekly meetings, my critique group writers taught me to trust the strengths I had as a writer. Believing and using my writing strengths became vital in my long-distance run to my first novel.  Novelists need staying power for the arch of writing 50,000 to 100,000 words has hundreds of challenges. The years of work to produce a coherent novel-length book felt like a daunting challenge. I thought of myself as a marathon runner in training.

Writing one book, for most people, presents a considerable challenge. Because I wanted to write a series of Dog Leader Mysteries I had to reframe endless revisions and draft edits to seem manageable.

Key 1: Positive critique comments grow better writers.

I cannot stress this too strongly. Our format trained us to always remark on the skills, insight, and best elements of each piece of writing. Our marginalia notes, plus verbal comments, ALWAYS began with what we liked, what worked, and what made us want to read more. We looked for what made written passages ZING, SING, and FLOW.

We don’t only learn from our mistakes. We learn from what we do well. We learn from the skills others positively reinforce. We become far more willing to keep repeating behaviors and skills we know others like or find valuable.

Take Dogs for Example

Behavioral studies show dogs learn faster in favorable environments. Canines must have their positive behaviors reinforced. Cookie words, receiving treats, and praise made dogs repeat what they did right. Similarly, we do better when we know what we’re doing right. In functional families, we know our value. Our positive behaviors receive praise or rewards. Our loved ones shape our behavior.

Key 2: Make Clear Critique Agreements

In our meetings, we set up a group knowledge base and agreements with each of us reading Peter Elbow’s book, Writing Without Teachers. The importance of this step cannot be stressed enough. Research showed that creative writing students did not get better through negative criticism alone. These students improved their writing skills when an amount of time became devoted to hearing what they did right.

Key 3: Mutual aid and patience transform critique groups beyond critique

Critique groups raise our empathy. They expand our knowledge and show us myriad ways writers solve similar story problems. They also tend to build friendships, the best lasting support to help us with the business of writing, too. Want a beta reader for a blog post? Need to contact published authors or experts to secure book blurbs for your first book? Want to be more successful in marketing your books?  All these and more valuable progressions can come from a trustworthy and caring critique group.

Positive feedback turns out to be the most effective way to grow as a writer. Who knew? Sure, we can all learn from our mistakes. Even from the mistakes of other writers. Imagine an acknowledged discussion, with notes on what a skillful writer you are. How would that advance your understanding of what works in your writing? Even if you have a reliable and helpful critique group, you have much to gain from pointing out what worked, what made you laugh, what made you want to keep turning those pages.

~~~

Deborah Taylor-French, Photo by Cindy Pavlinac
Deborah Taylor-French, Photo by Cindy Pavlinac

Deborah Taylor-French writes mystery, myth, and poetry.

Her Red Sky at Night: Dog Leader Mysteries can be purchase at Amazon Books https://www.amazon.com/Red-Sky-Night-Leader-Mysteries/dp/1532039700/ref=sr_1_4?e=UTF8&qid=1531597324&sr=8-4&keywords=red+sky+at+night

Copperfield’s Books https://www.copperfieldsbooks.com/search/site/Deborah%20Taylor-French and on iUniverse Bookstore https://www.iuniverse.com/Bookstore/BookDetail.aspx?Book=742732. At iUniverse sells this book at the same price as Amazon Books.

Deborah blogs to “save dogs’ lives & dog lovers’ sanity” at Dog Leader Mysteries (.com). For six years as Redwood Writers’ Author Support Facilitator, she has nurtured writers at monthly meetings. Redwood Writers is the largest a branch of the California Writers Club.

A former guest artist for California’s Artists in the Schools, Deborah holds a master’s degree in dance education from UCLA. She taught dance as a discipline, an art form and as cultural heritage in private and public schools throughout the State of California.

She has raised five adopted dogs, three pet rabbits, and one daughter. Deborah lives with her family in northern California, plus Tokyo Tuxedo, one sassy adopted house rabbit.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

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More Street Stories

JOE

By Anthony Morgan, Retired Oakland PD

Anthony wrote this tribute to a fellow cop in 1983. It stands the test of time.–Thonie

JOE 

1908-1983

Funeral for Phoenix Police Officer Issac Ros
Funeral for Phoenix PD Officer Isaac Rossario

 

A friend of mine passed away a few days ago. His name was Joe-the last name is not important. He was 74 years old. Joe was a cop. He retired about 14 years ago after 33 years’ service with the San Francisco Police Department. If my math is correct he started in 1936. Joe was a cop up to the day he died. He loved the profession and he was immensely proud of the Inspectors badge he carried for a good portion of his career.
Joe fit the role of the detective in the old “B” movies of yesteryear. A man of medium height and ruddy complexion, I can picture him wearing a freshly laundered white shirt, grey suit and tie and the ever-present hat. Donning a knee length overcoat to go out on a case on a foggy San Francisco evening always seemed to complete the plainclothes uniform. His stories of the “old days” conjured up images of Bogart in “The Maltese Falcon”. The cops back then, he said, solved cases by wearing out the soles of their shoes. The old guys got the job done by hard work and a lot of luck. Joe said that the detectives of today have the luxury of computers and new-age technology. God knows what he would think of today’s investigators. But, he would probably say that all cases are still solved by hard work and occasional luck.

After his retirement Joe remained in touch with law enforcement and his fellow co-workers. He became involved with the Veteran Officers Association. Joe worked hard to insure the rights and benefits of the active and retired officers remained intact and free from tampering by the City. He was a battler and one to give up without a fight over an issue he thought important. Occasionally someone would comment that he was wasting his retirement years working so hard. It wasn’t a waste of time for Joe. He enjoyed helping others and it gave him a sense of purpose.

Back in the early 70’s, I told him that I wanted to get into police work. He sat there for a moment and then he told me to go to Oakland. I thought for sure he would steer me toward S.F.P.D. Joe said the police department was having some troubles. It was mired in some pretty heavy and negative politics and stuck in a hiring freeze. He saw a strike on the horizon. He mentioned that the Oakland Police Department had the finest training and had the reputation of being a progressive police agency. Joe felt that it would take the S.F. Police Department years to recover. Armed with his advice, I applied for O.P.D.

After my graduation for the Academy he wrote me a note. It read, “To the new Cop-good luck and best wishes for a great career. Have fun.” It was signed “an old has-been.” I always thought that it must have been pretty dull being a police officer in the “old days.” After all, everything seems to happen so fast today. It wasn’t until I had some time on the job that I began to see some similarity between his years and mine. A number of his war stories were the same as mine, just the names and settings were different. It just seemed that the people were a bit more civilized back then.

Joe would get fully involved in his stories. He would start rubbing his hands and occasionally poke the listener in the shoulder just to emphasize a point. His voice would rise and fall in the old San Francisco Mission dialect-a little Boston Irish taint. The Mission accent would become even more pronounced as he reached the end of his tale. He always tried never to end on a sour note. He added humor and always tried to make a point.

One time I asked him what the high point of his career was. After a pause he replied, “I went 33 years without ever having to use my gun on someone. I was very fortunate.” He wished the same for every cop.

At the funeral service I saw some of his buddies from the job. All of them were about the same age as Joe. Their posture was stooped, their walk a little slow. There is a tinge of sadness in their voices as they recalled the old days. Their ranks are thinning. They all know that the day will soon come that no one will be left to tell their stories of accomplishments and failures. I looked hard into their eyes of these men. I could tell they were cops. Or, as Joe would say “They ARE cops.” He felt the saying “once a cop, always a cop” was true.

Joe had a lot of respect for the title “COP.” He always greeted me with “Howya doin’, cop?” He felt that cops were something special. He loved the word “cop.” He mentioned that being a cop meant being strong and having integrity. He expected cops to fail occasionally but what made them different was their ability to get back up and face the troubles head-on. Being a cop in his day was something to be proud of. In thinking about it, being a cop today still is something to be proud of.

Joe, to you I say thanks for everything, for being a mentor, and…so long, COP.

Categories
Writer's Notes

Critique Groups: My Experience

By B. Payton-Settles

July 20, 2018

BILLIE Something in the Attic.jpgWhen I stumbled onto critique groups almost ten years ago, they existed only as hard-copy, four-or-five-writers-working-together-around-a-table, incarnations. Now, through the wonders of social media, critique groups exist on-line, as well. Although I prefer the in-the-flesh model, I’m glad we have options today; critique groups are essential, both for budding writers and those whose careers are launched and moving along smoothly. We never outgrow the need for honest, professional feedback and support. My association with the critique group lovingly nicknamed Thrillerz provides that for me.

When I joined Redwood Writers Club (aka “RW”, the local arm of the California Writers Club) almost ten years ago, I was encouraged to participate in a critique group. I was new to acceptance of myself as a writer and floundering in the development of a mystery/paranormal novel. I figured I had nothing to lose.

Ana Manwaring, an RW veteran, gathered five of us for the initial meeting at a Starbucks. First order of business was choosing a maximum number of participants (five), a genre qualification (mystery/police procedure), and a meeting structure (twice a month on Wednesday evenings). We were on our way.

It took only a few meetings for us to realize that coffee houses, with their hard-to-manage noise level, don’t work as meeting places long term. When we interviewed for members, one or two prospects opted out based on that limitation. We relocated, first to a conference room in the Rohnert Park PD (member Thonie Hevron worked there), then to the Santa Rosa office of member Fred Weisel, and currently, to a member’s home in Petaluma.
Our meeting format is simple: we each bring pages for the others to take home, edit, and bring back to the next meeting, where we read a sampling and discuss the edits.
This is a great way to benefit from one another’s skill and get real-life feedback concerning subject matter. One perk: We get in on amazing, imaginative stuff as it is created. Another perk: Our understanding of human nature is indelibly deepened.

In taking a nostalgic look back at Thrillerz’ past participants—some for a few months, some for a few years—I see the enormous benefit in exposure to the many diverse personalities. We’ve had grammar divas (that would be me), adjective bludgeoners, ‘repetition’ police, plot questioners (Where’d that guy come from? You never mentioned him before. At least give us a description!), and of course, morale boosters. Thank heavens for my fellow writers and their dedication to this, sometimes, frustrating craft.
As I have developed as a writer, I’ve had many moments of doubt about the worth of my stuff, my chances for recognition, my writing ability. My critique group, as honest in their criticisms as they are lavish in their support, keeps me writing.

~~~

BILLIE PS head shotB. Payton-Settles was reading at the age of four and still reads everything she can. She’s been writing since her teen-age years (She’s retirement age, now) and loves getting feedback about her published work. Her home base is Petaluma, California, where writing, teaching, and research happen.

To purchase Something in the Attic, click here

 

 

 

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Roll Call

Roll Call: Just off Probation, Rampart ’74

By Mikey, Retired LAPD

lapd police carI was just assigned PM Watch patrol at Rampart Division and I’m excited that as a brand-new P-2, I’ll be working with another brand-new P-2!

Oh yeah, it doesn’t get any better than that and the best thing is that we get to make our own decisions! Real adults! So, I find that my partner is another Hispanic (We are both Mexicans. Just say it) and he is as excited as I am. We flip as to who is going to drive and the other partner is TGOTR, he is the “guy on the right.” He keeps the books and does the talking on the radio.

Before clearing we grab a cup of mud and discuss tactics, back up gun positions, driver officer’s responsibilities, passenger officer’s responsibilities, who is first up to scratch a traffic ticket, and so forth.

Pretty important stuff as you may not have the time to figure out these things if you get into deep serious. Then we discussed our training officers, supervisors, the hot records clerks, and most important, where we were going to take code 7, eat.

We were westbound Temple Avenue approaching Bonnie Brae Street when we see two guys in the middle of the street in a throw-down, one guy on top of another on the ground.

We go code 6 (busy) at the intersection and break up the fight. After the guys are handcuffed, we sit them on the curb and discover that they speak only Spanish.  S—t, cause neither of us “Hispanics” speaks the lingo worth a crap. We talked about it a long time before we made the decision—to request a Spanish speaker to our location. Then we did it.

The first to respond was our supervisor. He got out his cruiser, walked up to us and yelled, “What the hell kind of Mexicans are you two?”yell-311455_960_720

“Ones that don’t speak the language very good, Sarge.”

“You don’t speak English very well either.” He began. “If I ever find that you two possess more than $5. 00 between the both of you I’m gonna arrest you for theft, ’cause you are ripping off the city. Two Mexicans and you don’t speak Spanish.”

He shook his head as he walked off.

And from the curb came the spoken words, “He don’t like you, huh?”

Yup, from the jerk that was on top.

Categories
Writer's Notes

Critique Groups: Critiquing for success

By Mary Feliz

 

A cute Golden retriever puppy in front of a chalk board with the words “Puppy Class” written in chalk. Isolated on white.
purebred golden retriever jumping in a training of agility

Whether we’re at the puppy stage or sailing over tricky hurdles, writers need training, support, guidance, positive feedback, and constructive criticism.

From conferences on a grand scale to critique groups on the smaller end, authors push ourselves and our writing to greater heights when we work together. We smooth over the rough spots in our manuscripts, lives, and career trajectories while celebrating successes others might need a microscope to observe.

Finding or creating a critique group is the subject of another blog. I’m of a mind that they work best when you nail the perfect combination of similar skill sets and objectives.

But what if you’ve found the perfect group? What can you expect from the experience? How can you make the most of it and minimize frustration? The first step, I believe, is recognizing that you have at least three (and maybe more) roles. First, you’re there to provide feedback. Second, you’re there to receive constructive comments on your work. Third, you’re a social member of a group in which people will feel vulnerable. The relationships within the group may be more high-maintenance than you’re used to in other spheres of your life.

Good critiquers:

Provide timely feedback based on the writer’s needs. If an author’s spouse is a grammar whiz and punctuation police officer, she won’t require line edits, but she may need your take on whether her dialogue rings true. Don’t waste your time and hers. If she has a Monday deadline and you don’t get back to her for a month, you’ve squandered goodwill on a fruitless chore.

Find something good to say. No matter how awful you consider a submission, find something useful to say. Was the formatting impeccable or did a three-word turn of phrase capture your attention? Mention it. Doing so nurtures relationships, but also makes it easier for authors to listen to your recommendations for improvement.

Find something that could be better. No one’s writing is perfect, particularly in early drafts. Blockbuster authors may write too-wordy passages, dialogue that sags, or unimaginable plot twists. Even if a submission blew you away with its brilliance, find something that could be improved. No one appreciates a critique group member who consistently responds with “terrific, you’ve outdone yourself.”

Good critique-ees:

Say thank you. Each critique took time away from a group member’s writing. There is nothing authors value more than their time.

Look beyond the comment. Prolific genre-busting English author Neil Gaiman says, “Remember: when people tell you something’s wrong or doesn’t work for them, they are almost always right. When they tell you exactly what they think is wrong and how to fix it, they are almost always wrong.” No matter how bizarre a comment seems, something tore the reader away from your manuscript long enough for them to write you a note. Even if you disregard their advice, examine the passage to determine what might have made a reader stumble.

Busted? Be grateful. When I struggle with a passage in my novel and decide it’s good enough only to have an editor later tell me there is still a problem with it, my initial reaction is that of a child sheepishly caught in the act. I’m angry, then thrilled that someone brought me to task for wimping out. I take the reader’s advice very seriously, even if their solution is not my solution. For example, in my latest book, my editor suggested the murderer needed more explicit motivation—something about the character didn’t ring true. He offered suggestions. Instead, I shifted blame to a new character I wove into the story. That move provided a double-barreled benefit. I fixed the nagging problem and created what I hope proves to be a very satisfying plot twist.
Don’t argue. And don’t continue ask for feedback as you fiddle with your manuscript’s faults. If you need more help, consider taking a class or asking another friend, beta-reader, or editor. Nothing kills a critique group faster than someone who keeps asking for advice on the same tired paragraphs.

Reveal expectations and needs. If you’re on a deadline, let your critique partners know. If you need a quick read and response on a specific portion of the work—rhythm, characterization, believability, etc.—let your readers know that, too.

Overall advice:
Critique groups are meant to be helpful and fun. If your group feels burdensome or feedback isn’t useful, take a break, change the structure of the group, or bow out. Likewise, if a group member becomes argumentative, incapable of meeting deadlines, or provides useless feedback, consider asking if the group still meets her needs.

A supportive critique group is priceless, but the organization that needs care and feeding. Nurture it. But don’t hesitate to end an unsatisfactory group experience. A lousy critique group is worse than no group at all.

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FELIZ Author HeadshotMary Feliz writes the Maggie McDonald Mysteries featuring a Silicon Valley professional organizer and her sidekick golden retriever. She’s worked for Fortune 500 firms and mom and pop enterprises, competed in whale boat races and done synchronized swimming. She attends organizing conferences in her character’s stead, but Maggie’s skills leave her in the dust. Address to Die For, the first book in the series, was named a Best Book of 2017 by Kirkus Reviews. All of her books have spent time on the Amazon best seller list. Visit her website at http://www.maryfeliz.com
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FELIZ Disorderly Conduct (4)Professional organizer Maggie McDonald balances a fastidious career with friends, family, and a spunky Golden Retriever. But add a fiery murder mystery to the mix, and Maggie wonders if she’s found a mess even she can’t tidy up …

With a devastating wildfire spreading to Silicon Valley, Maggie preps her family for evacuation. The heat rises when firefighters discover a dead body belonging to the husband of Maggie’s best friend Tess Olmos. Tess becomes the prime suspect in what’s shaping up to become a double murder case. Determined to set the record straight, Maggie sorts clues in an investigation more dangerous than the flames approaching her home. When her own loved ones are threatened, can she catch the meticulous killer before everything falls apart?

 

Categories
Writer's Notes

The Call Box: Code 7’s Aren’t Sacred

polic-call-box-pedestal-lapd-gamewell-DCAL2786_dt1By Ed Meckle, Retired LAPD

Ask any patrol officer what his/her favorite radio transmission is and I’m sure most will say … “Code 7 granted.” 

Somewhere there is a rule/regulation/order whatever that states, very sensibly only a certain number of cars can be off the air to eat at any one time. When your request has been denied several times, you try to be first in line when another unit clears from 7. 

Eating spots…there are spots and there are spots. Well, just let me say that Hal, working Hollywood, probably had no shortage of fine eateries to choose from while I, working a poor, crime-ridden area did not have that luxury. The powers that be stated we could not eat outside our area and we had one restaurant which would have had to improve greatly just to be average. 

The food however was free, and we ate what they put in front of us and we left a 25-cent tip (this is a long, long time ago, boys and girls). Being “off the air” however, did not necessarily mean you would enjoy your meal in peace.

 A few examples:

We hadn’t been seated five minutes when we hear shouting from the parking lot. Then two rapid fired rounds followed by the racing engine of a departing vehicle and then a third and fourth shot. 

As we were seated in the rear by the door we were up and out quickly but cautiously fully expecting to find a body in the lot…not this time.

Standing not ten feet from our black and white was a woman holding a handgun which she quickly dropped when ordered.

She admitted shooting at her husband and then his car as he left. We found no blood and discovered where one round had hit a car parked next to ours.

We got a pinch but missed dinner.

Saving what I consider a “classic” until last: this was related to me by Dwight “Skip” Gillett, LAPD retired and a colleague from the “Old Centurions.”

In Skip’s own words, edited for length:

I was working AID, Accident Investigation Division, on the PM watch in 77th Division with my partner Chuck Morrow. Inasmuch as it is a poor, crime-ridden area there are not many (actually none) decent restaurants where we can eat.

So, we are having a burger at an outdoor greasy spoon when we hear shouting.

There right in front of us is a northbound vehicle, hood open with a passenger seated on the front fender shouting instructions to the driver who, of course can’t see because of the hood.

“Slow down a bit,” “Little to your left,” and “Stoplight coming up.”

Now any cop will tell you that sooner or later you witness all sorts of weird behavior, and nothing you see should surprise you until something crazier comes along. But this one ranks right up there.

Decisions., decisions.

engine-bayFinish the burgers or do the right thing? Dedication overcame hunger and we made the stop. It seems the fuel pump was non-operational, so the fender rider was pouring gasoline directly into the carburetor and since the driver could not see, he was calling out directions. 

Logical, right? As clever as this might seem you may have guessed by now alcohol was involved.

End result: lost the burger, got one deuce.

 

[Me again] I have said it before. Where else could you find a job where you could do some good, meet the quality of  people we do, have a lot of fun and still get paid?