Month: September 2020

Categories
Writer's Notes

Getting it Right-Technical Advice for Novelists by Danny R. Smith

Police and detective stories have withstood the test of time, and they are not going away anytime soon. If you’re writing crime novels but have no law enforcement experience, how do you get it right?

Most crime writers have no personal experience with the crimes about which they write, nor with the resulting investigative processes and procedures. If you don’t know the subject matter of which you write, you somehow need to learn it.

It is not enough to rely on what you have read or watched for entertainment as your main source of expertise. If you do, you will inevitably get it wrong. Maybe you’ll be close, but for me, personally, close doesn’t cut it.

Authors Who Get it Right

One of my favorite authors has always been Elmore Leonard. Unlike most, the “King of Dialogue” had the remarkable ability to write as a twenty-year veteran cop, and as a twenty-year convict, though he was never either one. Clearly, he spent a tremendous amount of time studying both, and he probably had great technical advisors along the way.

Joseph Wambaugh is a cop-turned-author, the trailblazer of authentic police procedure novels. Now, as decades have passed since he worked a beat himself, Wambaugh consults today’s cops so that his writing is authentic and true to the time.

Michael Connelly has a host of LAPD technical advisors, and he gets the details right most of the time. (He could use an advisor from the sheriff’s department because he has made glaring mistakes when speaking of my former department.) As a former cop-beat reporter, Connelly knows the importance of being technically correct in characters and scenes, and I give him credit for that.

How to Find Experts

One great resource for crime writers who have no police experience is Writer’s Detective, a website and blog hosted by a California police officer named Adam. (He uses the pen name B.A. Richardson, as he is still an active duty law enforcement officer.) He also has a Facebook group where he and other experts will answer questions. If you join the group, you will learn who has true expertise and learn to rely upon them and ignore some of the others who love to answer every question, though they have no experience themselves.

Many writers use Adam’s services, and I can personally tell you that his advising is always spot on. He also now hosts a podcast, and it is my understanding he will be releasing a book that will offer even more technical advice for writers.

Another great resource is a recently-retired Milwaukee PD sergeant named Patrick O’Donnell. He published a book on the topic as well: Cops and Writers. Though I haven’t read the book, it has good reviews, and I contributed to some of the material he used to write it.

Along the lines of Facebook groups, there are other great resources for writers. Legal Fiction, which is hosted by an attorney, and Trauma Fiction, a group hosted and attended by medical experts, are both worth joining for writers who need direction in those areas.

Lee Lofland’s book Police Procedure and Investigation: A Guide for Writers is another great resource for writers. Lofland is the founder of Writers’ Police Academy-MurderCon, “a special training event for writers of all genres, with a specific focus on solving the crime of murder,” and is a highly regarded consultant for writers.

My Experience

I have personally served as a consultant on several books. I’ve been mentioned in a couple, including one by a best-selling romance author. She had found me through a friend and asked if I would be willing to answer questions and provide some guidance while she wrote her book. I made myself available to her for several months as she worked on her novel.

Some consultants charge for their work, which is completely appropriate. However, many authors don’t make enough (or any) money on their books and do not have a budget that would allow them to pay for technical advisors. My technical advising thus far has been without compensation, but I wouldn’t do it again unless the person asking for help was a friend or associate, and the commitment was minimal.

Are All Cops Experts?

If you do find a cop or someone retired from law enforcement who is willing to help, make sure he/she has expertise in the area you seek. Not all cops are investigators. (In fact, most are not.) Not all cops are experts in traffic enforcement, or gang enforcement, or arson investigation. If you want an expert, find someone who could qualify in a court of law as an expert in the field of whatever it is you are seeking information.

A word of caution: There are those who have “supervised” and claim expertise in the field to which they were assigned. In some cases, this may be true. But most often, at least in the field of homicide investigation, supervisors do not conduct investigations themselves; rather, they oversee the work of their staff. That does not necessarily make one an expert. Many of the supervisors who were selected to go to the homicide bureau at LASD had no investigative experience because it was not necessary that they did. Their roles as supervisors had nothing to do with being investigators.

What Does it Cost?

The aforementioned Facebook groups are examples of where to find free advice. Just make sure the person offering the advice has some level of expertise and didn’t Google the answer to your question. (You could have done that yourself.) Books can be inexpensive, and of course, podcasts and blogs are free.

If you do find someone with expertise who is willing to help you without compensation, you should be very appreciative of his/her help. The knowledge they share with you was hard-earned, and likely has a greater value than even they know. The romance author I mentioned thanked me in her book. I didn’t expect anything more than that, but you might consider sending a gift certificate for a coffeehouse or maybe a steakhouse as a way of showing your appreciation. Most importantly, don’t use them and move on. I reached out to that author I had helped when I published my first book, and she never responded to me.

Writing Advice for the Cops

Conversely, if you are a cop who is determined to tell your story, you, too, should get it right — the writing part of it. Learn to write so that your prose is enjoyable to read. Writing to entertain is far different than writing police reports and affidavits. I learned that valuable lesson the hard way, having submitted some of my early work to an editor and an agent at a writer’s conference only to have it returned peppered with red ink. The harsh reality was that I had a lot to learn (and still do) about writing. Since I didn’t take college courses on creative writing, there was much I didn’t know, such as identifying and slaying as much passive voice as possible and paying attention to proper sentence structure.

Hire an Editor

Lastly, I have an editor. She is invaluable to me. Every published author has at least one. If you are self-publishing, you need to find a qualified editor (or two) and submit everything you write to her for review. Doing so has freed me to write more and worry less about commas and trying to figure out that whole lay, lie, lain, and laid thing (my greatest grammatical nemeses).

Best of luck to all of my fellow writers, authors, novelists, dramatists, bloggers, scribblers, and other assorted and glorious wordsmiths.

A Good Bunch of Men

About Danny R. Smith:

Danny R. Smith spent 21 years with the Los Angeles County Sheriff’s Department, the last seven as a homicide detective. He now lives in Idaho where he works as a private investigator and consultant. He is blessed with a beautiful wife and two wonderful daughters, and he is passionate about his dogs and horses, all of whom he counts among his friends.

He is the author of the bestselling and award-winning Dickie Floyd Detective Novel series, and he has written articles for trade publications. He publishes a weekly blog called The Murder Memo, which can be found at dickiefloydnovels.com.

He is a member of the Idaho Writers Guild and the Public Safety Writers Association.

Blog: The Murder Memo

Books: Dickie Floyd books

Thonie: I thought I’d add my comment to Danny’s post.

As a LE veteran, it galls me to find gross inaccuracies in the novel I’m reading. Some errors I can put down to the author using a municipal agency procedure applied to a state agency. They can be vastly different. Here in NorCal, I never heard “vic” or “perp” except on TV. A cop character’s language can speak volumes to their make-up. Danny’s list goes a long way to helping the author with resources. Another is Citizen Academies. My local police and sheriff’s office do academies (including one in Spanish) which help introduce the cop culture to the public.
Also an agency Public Information Officer may be able to help. If nothing else he/she could point you to a department or individual who may be able to answer your questions. Authors can make contacts via these two above avenues.
One last thought: cops are suspicious by nature. Cold-calling seldom bears fruit. If you need assistance, do your research first. Find out what you can from the internet, etc. about the organization. Cops also hate wasting their time. If you are professional (make an appointment, business cards, etc.) they are more likely to help. The trick is simple: build a relationship. As Danny said earlier, the romance author he helped didn’t return the “favor” when he reached out. He probably won’t help her again.

Categories
Mystery Readers Only

Guest Janet Dawson: Write What You Know–or Find Out

DEATH ABOVE THE LINE by Janet Dawson
https://www.amazon.com/Death-Above-Line-California-Mystery/dp/1564746186/

by Janet Dawson

That piece of advice is usually attributed to Mark Twain. Writing what you know is useful, but it’s limiting. As writers and readers, we don’t want limits. I find that I work better if I add two sentences to the quote: If you don’t know, find out. The search will lead you in all sorts of directions.

As the author of 19 books and a dozen short stories, I’ve found out some interesting things and traveled in many directions.

My latest book, Death Above the Line, is the fourth in my historical mystery series, which features protagonist Jill McLeod and the train known as the California Zephyr (the original, not the Amtrak version). The books are set in the early 1950s and Jill was introduced to mystery readers in Death Rides the Zephyr, followed by Death Deals a Hand and The Ghost in Roomette Four.

Jill is the only female member of the train crew, something like the train equivalent of a stewardess. Other rail lines had similar roles and called them by different names. On the California Zephyr, they were known as Zephyrettes.

I decided a Zephyrette would be a perfect sleuth. After all, her job was to make sure the passengers had a wonderful journey and that involved being observant, ready to solve problems as soon as they happened, if not before. Zephyrettes had to be intelligent and resourceful, and my protagonist Jill is all of that.

Write what you know. Well, I didn’t know much about Zephyrettes and I had to find out what it was like to ride the rails on the California Zephyr, both as a passenger and a member of the crew.

I’m writing about the original California Zephyr, not the Amtrak Version. The old California Zephyr (CZ) was sometimes called the Silver Lady, because of its sleek stainless-steel cars. The CZ began in March 1949, created in the heyday of luxurious train travel after World War II. It was a joint operation of three railroads—the Chicago, Burlington & Quincy (CB&Q), the Denver & Rio Grande Western (D&RGW), and the Western Pacific (WP)—with two trains daily, one westbound from Chicago, the other eastbound from Oakland, California.

CB&Q locomotives and crews operated the train between Chicago and Denver, where the D&RGW took over. From Salt Lake City west, it was the WP. The last stop was the Oakland Mole, a two-story train shed on the bay shore, where passengers bound for San Francisco would board ferries. For payroll purposes, the Zephyrettes were considered WP employees.

There was a lot I didn’t know, but I found out. I used all sorts of resources—books, articles, casting my net on the Internet. The research libraries at railroad museums in California and Colorado provided a trove of information. I also rode on trains and climbed around on railroad cars. I even drove a locomotive!

Best of all were the personal contacts—rail enthusiasts I met on several train trips, people who own and restore private rail cars, and the Zephyrettes themselves. I discovered that two retired Zephyrettes lived in the area, and one of them had worked on the trains in the early 1950s. One evening I took them to dinner, started my recorder, listened to them talk for over two hours. Oh, what stories I heard! Especially the one about the clandestine poker games in the baggage car. Invaluable!

Novel synopsis:

Zephyrette Jill McLeod rides the rails on the California Zephyr, but in Death Above the Line, she’s on a movie set, playing a scripted version of her real-life role. This temporary stint as an actress would be fun—if it weren’t for the emotions and conflicts swirling around the cast and crew. Secrets and hidden agendas abound. And nobody likes the visiting studio executive. When someone winds up dead, Jill takes on the role of detective. Can she expose the killer before the real-life villain catches up with her?

Buy links:

https://www.barnesandnoble.com/w/death-above-the-line-janet-dawson/1136603384?ean=9781564746184Barnes and Noble

https://bookshop.org/books/death-above-the-line-a-california-zephyr-mystery/9781564746184

Janet Dawson is the author of two mystery series. The first features Oakland, California private eye Jeri Howard. The first book in the series, Kindred Crimes, won the St. Martin’s Press/Private Eye Writers of America contest for Best First Private Eye novel and was nominated for several awards. Jeri usually sleuths in California. Her territory is the Bay Area, but she ranges farther afield, heading for Monterey and San Luis Obispo in Don’t Turn Your Back on the Ocean, and Sonoma County in Bit Player and Cold Trail. The thirteenth book in the series, The Devil Close Behind, finds Jeri even farther from home, as a vacation in New Orleans turns into a case.

Author Janet Dawson

Janet has also written four historical mysteries set in the early 1950s. The California Zephyr series features protagonist Jill McLeod, who is a Zephyrette, the only female member of the crew of the sleek streamliner that runs between the Bay Area and Chicago. Her job is to see to the passengers’ needs and be aware of any problems that interfere with a smooth journey. Problems such as murder! Jill began sleuthing in Death Rides the Zephyr, which was followed by Death Deals a Hand and The Ghost in Roomette Four. Now arriving in the station is Death Above the Line. Jill, who has been roped into playing a Zephyrette in a film noir, finds yet another body.

Other publications include her suspense novel, What You Wish For, a novella, But Not Forgotten, and numerous short stories, including Shamus nominee “Slayer Statute” and Macavity winner “Voice Mail.”

Janet recently finished a novel titled The Sacrificial Daughter, which will be published in January 2021. She has just started a historical novel.

Find out more about Janet and her work and sign up for her newsletter at:

www.janetdawson.com.

Her Facebook page is:

https://www.facebook.com/Mysteries.PrivateEyes.Trains

Follow Janet on BookBub:

https://www.bookbub.com/profile/janet-dawson

Categories
Street Stories When Pigs Fly

When Pigs Fly

LAPD Bell 206 Jetranger

By Ron Corbin, retired LAPD, LVMP

LAPD Bell 206 Jetranger

Can You Say…Guilty Conscience?

I was flying Air-3 one day, which basically had responsibility for everything south of the Hollywood Hills and the Mulholland-Sepulveda Pass. Of course, even with responsibility for assistance to 12 patrol divisions, most of our calls involved those over Southwest, Newton, and 77th St Divisions. These three divisions were generally considered “South LA”, and were some of the busiest for active police work in all of the 17 divisions that were in LAPD’s’ jurisdiction at that time.

Southwest was originally known as University Division since the USC campus resided in the northeast corner of the area. It consisted of a potpourri of cultures, Asian, White, Black, and Hispanic. And each had their gang influence. 77th St Division was infamous for the 1966 Watts Riots and demographics that made it a “hotbed” for police work. Newton Division was known as “Shootin’ Newton”, and was famous for the Black Panther Shootout in 1969, and the SLA Shootout in 1974.

While slowly patrolling the skies over downtown LA, my observer and I monitored a radio call of a “211 Just Occurred” at a liquor store in Newton’s area, with the dispatcher giving a brief follow-up description of armed robbery suspect and his last direction seen running from the store. The suspect was a light-skin Black male, approximately 6’5, and had red hair. Oh, and to disguise his identity, he wore a red bandana over his face (sounds kind of silly to be that race, that tall with red hair, and attempt to hide your face, don’t you think? Just ADC- Another Dumb Criminal)

 My observer responded via the radio that we were en route for aerial assistance. I banked the aircraft and headed southbound at VNE (pilot talk for maximum allowed airspeed for that particular aircraft) toward the scene, calling LAX ATC (Air Traffic Control) for clearance to enter their TCA (Terminal Control Area). This was necessary due to the fact that our call was going to be under the flight path of the large commercial jets approaching both west runways for landing. Our little helicopter would be no match for a jumbo jet, and a midair would make a bad day for everyone. Even causing a passenger-filled commercial airliner to have to make a “go-around” because of our air space intrusion would certainly generate (at the least) an angry phone call to Chief Ed Davis. However, following MOUs with FAA, LAX controllers worked well with us ASD (Air Support Division) pilots in our priority needs.

Arriving over the general area of the crime area and since ground units were already on the scene, we began a wide orbit several blocks from the incident, searching backyards and anyone running. It’s amazing how well you can see physical descriptions, clothing colors, and certain distinctive patterns of people from 500 feet above the ground, our standard altitude for orbit.

It didn’t take long for my observer, who was using gyro-stabilized binoculars, found the suspect. He was trying to “blend in” with the people on the street. But it was easy for us since we could not see another 6’5″ Black male with red hair and a red bandanna neckerchief tied around his neck…at least for miles around in our bird’s eye view.

While the observer was directing ground units to close-in and make an arrest, I thought that I could “buy some time” and maybe not cause the suspect run, which meant a foot pursuit for our officers. I activated the PA system and yelled, “You’re Under Arrest! Get On The Ground”!

Wow! Was I surprised when not only our suspect complied, but 6-7 other people also immediately dropped to the ground with their arms prone-out to their sides. (Hmmm, maybe I should have been a little more specific to my person-of-interest.)

Possibly I just located several crime suspects and cracked a bunch of unsolved cases, or these individuals had been through the process before. In either case, when the first officers drove up, they looked confused to see several individuals lying on their stomach ready to be searched and cuffed. My observer was laughing hysterically as he directed the ground officers to the right suspect.

As the Code-4 was broadcast, we left ground officers to explain and pacify those other citizens who had apparently had guilty consciences about something else.

“We turned and flew off into the sunset on our blue and white steed. I just wish that I could have left a silver bullet for those to ponder… Who were those guys in the air?”

Categories
Writer's Notes

Guest Post: Raising the Stakes

Airborne by DiAnn Mills

DiAnn Mills

Every writer strives to keep readers turning pages, and that means raising the stakes in every scene. We want the reader to endure sleepless nights, forego cooking meals, forget to pick up the kids from school, and whatever else it takes to keep them engrossed and experiencing our stories. Every line of the story must build suspense.

The following are a few ways to help writers raise critical stakes for tight, emotive scenes.

Caught in the Crucible

Are the characters caught in the middle of something they possess, either mentally or physically, in which both refuse to let go? The crucible is greater than the characters’ desires, like two children who want the same toy.

Sol Stein suggests using the “crucible” as a means to drive the plot forward. He defines the technique as an environment, either mental or physical, that bonds people together. The crucible is greater than their desires, and neither is willing to give it up.

Choices and Doubts

Have you ever given up on a goal or decided the challenge wasn’t worth the trouble? Considered quitting? Abandoned the dream for a while? We want our characters to mirror our emotions, and we want them to overcome their fears to succeed.

Consider the choices confronting a character. Have him/her choose between two rights. Which one? Why? Still looking for more conflict? Force the character to choose between two wrongs. Imagine the guilt, the responsibility, the consequences, and the circumstances surrounding the dilemma. Make the character’s life messy, with a believable storyline and characters who embrace unpredictable yet realistic behavior.

Chapter hooks are as vital to the story as the hook in the beginning. End each scene with high stakes, an outer or inner struggle that spins with emotion. This technique will keep the reader up all night turning page after page to discover what happens next.

Complications

How can a writer seriously affect the plot and the characters’ lives to raise the stakes? This can be done by:

  • New information
  • Unexpected complications
  • Changes in relationships
  • Eliminating a character
  • Subplots
  • Opposing goals
  • Problems: physical, mental, spiritual

A “Whoa, I didn’t see that coming!” scene foils readers who think they can read the beginning of a novel then skip to the climax and resolution.

Emotion

Readers want to experience what a character is feeling and understand why. A character’s personality dictates reactions, and the greatest emotion comes from facing a conflict head-on. This is an area where word choice and body language collide and add depth to the suspense.

Imagine a scene where a character’s loved family member is in danger. The character’s emotions are on one level, while the logical side of the character must find a way to remove the danger.

Don’t cheat the reader by failing to use every ounce of emotion and action to build higher stakes.

Fears and Weaknesses

This forces the character not only to struggle but also to face an inner and outer antagonist. Research the character’s backstory to incorporate fears, blind spots, betrayal, and weaknesses. Weave these traits into the character’s goal or problem, then show how the quest is impossible without overcoming the fear or weakness.

Point of View

The point of view selected by the writer is crucial to the story’s rising stakes. The POV choice is best made by “who has the most to lose” if a goal isn’t reached. The person who has the highest stakes will be the one whom the reader forms a sympathetic bond.

Roles

Provide the character with more than one role in the story and make life difficult for the protagonist and/or antagonist. For example, a police officer may wrestle with arresting a drug dealer if the suspect is his best friend’s spouse.

Antagonistic Setting

Tension, conflict, and suspense explode when a setting is unfamiliar and hostile. Not only do the stakes raise for the character to survive, but it may also force the character to grow into a better person. How does a writer accomplish an antagonistic setting? Begin by concentrating on a few traits of a villain: determined, powerful, an outward appearance of beauty or charm, and the ability to deceive. The adversity of setting can be obvious or hidden but include it in ways that force the character to make tough decisions and then accept responsibility for those actions.

Raising the Stakes is not an engine additive to a story. It’s a process that begins long before the first line is written. High stakes are a mindset that influences every technique of novel writing and coincides with character goals. Look at your story. Where can you raise the stakes?

DiAnn Mills is a bestselling author who believes her readers should expect an adventure. She is a storyteller and creates action-packed, suspense-filled novels to thrill readers. Her titles have appeared on the CBA and ECPA bestseller lists; won two Christy Awards; and been finalists for the RITA, Daphne Du Maurier, Inspirational Readers’ Choice, and Carol award contests.

DiAnn is a founding board member of the American Christian Fiction Writers, a member of Advanced Writers and Speakers Association, Mystery Writers of America, Sisters in Crime, and International Thriller Writers. She is the director of the Blue Ridge Mountain Christian Writers Conference, Mountainside Retreats: Marketing, Speakers, Nonfiction and Novelist with social media specialist Edie Melson where she continues her passion of helping other writers be successful. She speaks to various groups and teaches writing workshops around the country.

Connect with DiAnn here:

Website: https://diannmills.com/

Facebook: https://www.facebook.com/diannmills

Twitter: https://twitter.com/diannmills

BookBub: https://www.bookbub.com/authors/diann-mills